SKILL 04: TAKING CARE OF SHIT BEFORE IT BUILDS UP

BY AARON OCHOA

I learned as a child to keep my space neat and clean. I practiced it as an adult but always put it low on my priority list, addiction being my first priority for many years. Addiction taught me to be comfortable in my chaos... In my life now, I choose to live without self-created chaos. It’s a skill I learned as a child, re-learned during incarceration and practice now.

  1. Do your chores so that others don’t have to.
  2. Do other people’s chores if they don’t do them.
  3. Mentor those that ask for help.

The Sandwich

I’m sure at some point most of you have heard or read somewhere the statement that "We are all one." Many dismiss this idea outright as psychobabble. But I know it to be fact and I have a very odd story to back it up.

Eventually there was an opening. It was finally my time. I was so excited to finally try one of those sandwiches. My first night of work came soon enough. I walked into a large room set up like a laundromat with four commercial wash- ers and four commercial dryers. In front of the washers there was a huge pile of clothes and I thought, that’s a lot, but not too much. My second thought was, OH MY GOD, when my coworker said, “When the washers are loaded, I’ll go get some more.” As the first round gets washed and dried, there’s a lull when we can sit and watch TV. After that, it’s on and cracking. I never counted how many shirts or pants I folded each round, but the piles were roughly nine feet long and three feet high, each time we emptied the dryers. The work was extremely repetitive: fold in half, fold the arms in, fold in half again, stack. Fold in half, fold the arms in, fold again, stack. Over and over again, fold in half, fold the arms in, fold again, stack. I worked every night, seven days a week from 9pm until 5am, washing, drying and folding.

My job was constant and never once let up, from the day I started until the day I was released from custody. My employer was the Humboldt County Correctional Facility. My pay was five small cups of coffee, no cream, no sugar, five small cups of Kool-Aid, usually watered down, and a sandwich at midnight. Oh yeah, back to the sandwich. Ironically enough, the sandwich was just terrible. A real grass is always greener feeling as I took my first bite and felt in my mouth how soggy the bread was—like a wet, doughy blob in my mouth. I can describe the experience as eating an old gas station sand- wich that was made days or even weeks before I bought it; like chewing on an old soggy sponge. I’m glad that I did the work, and wouldn’t change it if I could. It taught me to do a task until it was completed. And no matter how big my personal laundry piles are, they will never compare to the piles of laundry I washed, folded, and put away in that time of my life.

EXERCISE

The Care Mapping Exercise

Part 1

Over the next five days, keep track of activities you do to take care of your shit before it builds up. Write down the day, location and activity.

Part 2

Draw a floor plan map of the space that you are doing the activities from Part 1. The floor plan can be any shape. It can be representative. Include a key of the different categories of activities, which can be color coordinated or with different types of lines.

Part 3

Create a list of the consequences of not completing the activities.

RESPONSE

Part 1

MY CHORES

  • Made my bed.
  • Did laundry.
  • Vacuumed my bedroom.

 

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHORES

  • Emptied out ashtray.
  • Broke down boxes.
  • Fixed washing machine.
  • Dried off the bathroom floor.
  • Stopped the toilet from running.

 

MENTORSHIP

  • Mentored Josh about doing a better job on his chore.
  • Mentored Lance about his mom’s upcoming death.
  • Mentored Kyle about doing his chore.
  • Mentored Mandy about issues with her roommate.

MY CHORES

  • Made my bed.
  • Sorted mail.

 

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHORES

  • Put toilet paper in the bathroom.
  • Dried off the bathroom floor.
  • Cleaned off dining room table.

 

MENTORSHIP

  • Mentored Lance about taking the proper amount of medication, then took away his car keys.

MY CHORES

  • Made my bed.

 

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHORES

  • Fixed kitchen faucet.
  • Dried off the bathroom floor.
  • Wiped down bathroom counter.

 

MENTORSHIP

  • Mentored Keri about another resident using the bathroom all night.

MY CHORES

  • Made my bed.
  • Switched chore board.

 

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHORES

  • Dried off the bathroom floor.

 

MENTORSHIP

  • Mentored Lance prior to going to the hospital about his health issues.
  • Mentored Lance over the phone from the hospital about what I would do in his situation.

Part 2

Part 3

MY CHORES

  • You will have to wear dirty clothes.
  • You would smell bad.
  • You might feel bad.
  • Things would keep building up.
  • You might feel overwhelmed.
  • You might live in squalor.

 

OTHER PEOPLE’S CHORES

  • You would be waiting and waiting.
  • You would know they needed to be done.
  • Your mind could be restless.
  • You could get upset.
  • You might want to explode.

 

MENTORSHIP

  • Might create a situation that could become a fight or argument.
  • If people get into a fight or lose their temper, they could lose their home.
  • If people lose their home, they could go back to using.
  • Without mentorship, people could go back to using.