Name of Tip: See People for Who They Are Now
Name: Jessica Taylor, 42
Description: Open-mindedness involves being open to various ideas, arguments, and information. Being open-minded is considered a positive quality. Open-mindedness involves asking questions and actively searching for information that challenges your beliefs. It also includes the belief that others should be free to express their beliefs and arguments, even if you do not necessarily agree with those views. Understanding that comes from open-mindedness creates an open heart.
Instructions: Get to know a person, not what everybody else has told you. Go with your own thoughts and stop listening to what everybody else is saying. Do not listen to what the media or your next-door neighbor says. The more you get to know a person, the more open-hearted and open-minded you will be because you will see them for who they are at this point, not all the chaos that surrounds their life. Just try it one step at a time, little by little. Say you see someone sitting there alone, not doing anything or talking to anybody, just closed off from the world. The first thing to do is say hi, sit down, and talk with them. Talk about the weather, sports, or whatever may be of interest to them. Once you have a conversation with someone, you open up. Once you open up, you can open your heart and mind to the person down the road. It’s all about communicating.
Learning: I don’t judge anybody. I think my mom taught me this. She always was very polite and respectful, regardless of anybody’s situation. You could be a homeless person, a rich person, or anybody in between. She would always say “Yes,” “No,” and “Thank you.” Very nice, very respectful. She never talked about people behind their backs. That’s how I am. I will listen until my ears fall off. I’ve always been about helping others. I do very little for myself. It’s very exhausting. I like to help others, so it is worth it to make somebody’s day just the tiniest bit brighter by being open-hearted.
I’m very shy and quiet, but I know that if everybody judged me on my case, I would never talk to anybody. People would say, “There’s no way in the world she did that.” It looks like I’m this horrible person, but once you get to know me, you will see I’m not. People would absolutely hate me and want nothing to do with me, and I would sit here all alone all the time. So, if I cannot say hi to somebody, it won’t help. It’s hard to take that step. I have anxiety and depression, but I do it because if I don’t, I am so lonely. So, as long as I can take that first step and say hi, it will lead to open-mindedness and open-heartedness. It is amazing because people are wonderful if you get to know them.
Story: I was in prison for four years, and I’m currently in a halfway house, surrounded by people who have done all sorts of things and are from all walks of life—people who have lived through horrible things and some not-so-horrible things. To keep an open mind and heart, I don’t judge them for anything they have done. I see them for how they are now, not what everybody else tells me. I accept who they are. I learn about who they are from this point of view rather than judging them for their past. I get to know who they are through interacting with them. So, it is in my nature to constantly try to befriend somebody. If someone is having a rough day, I will ask, “Hey, are you okay? Is there something I can do?” But that is just going to be me. I will always try, even if I shut myself down a million times. I will still ask, “What can I help you with?”