Title of Tip: Facing Fears
Name: Chelsea Evans, 31
Statement: Always face your fears head-on because the only fear is not facing them. If you don’t face whatever comes up, it will build up, and you will eventually have to face them.
Instructions: Nobody can teach you how to face your fears; you have to learn it. You can utilize other people’s experiences to navigate your own life. Don’t be the person who has to learn the hard way. Different people have made mistakes, and you can learn from them. It’s not easy; there are a lot of fears in the world. The only fear is not knowing. The only fear is not doing. You will never know what comes next; life is full of unknowns. The only way to find out is by trying. If you don’t face your fears, they will build up, and eventually, you’ll fear more and more things. When you get through one thing, you steadily become stronger, and it becomes easier each time. You’ll run into scary things, but learn that good things come from facing fears.
Learning: My family is important to me, and I’ve relied on them a lot in my life. I’m from Troy, so being alone in Cincinnati, away from many of my family, has been challenging. Moving to transitional control from prison was something I had to do for myself. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to. At the end of the day, it’s only creating room for opportunities for me. I filed to go home from my period of transitional control, but they sent me to a halfway house in Cincinnati. I have to complete it before I can go home. In the past, I’ve always reverted to my family or husband to take care of things. I could not do anything independently, like attending school or getting a job. I didn’t like going to a store or gas station alone. I wouldn’t even order my own food when I went into restaurants. I was kidnapped, and I think that caused a lot of fear in life. Facing my fears has changed me. I’m no longer held back by the things I am afraid of. I’m doing things on my own. Good things come from dark places. The kidnapping turned me into a different person. Now, I am creating independence for myself. I’ve even signed up for school.
Story: I’ve heard the saying face your fears head-on all the time, but I never understood what it meant or thought about it until I was about to be released from prison. I had about another year to go when I got called in, and my transitional control (TC) got approved. I was going to Cincinnati and wasn’t happy about it. I had not heard good things about the area. Some people I talked with were reassuring and said, “It’s just how you work it, and what you choose to do is what matters.” Three days before I was supposed to leave, a girl came in having just returned from doing TC in Cincinnati, and was not talking well about it. They don’t give you your own room, they don’t give you any opportunities, all these bad things. Afterward, I cried all day, not wanting to leave. An older lady I was living with talked to me, reassuring me. She told me, “All you can do is face it head-on. You never know what will happen until you get there and see for yourself; you can’t speculate.” I just wanted to stay in prison to finish out my sentence. I hoped they would pull my TC. Then this lady said, “Why wouldn’t you give it an opportunity? People say bad things about where I was, and I was doing good.” I was really discouraged, so I prayed for the next three days and told myself that if it happened, I would handle it. I prepared myself to leave and imagined how I would respond to living there, what I would say to people, and how I would feel in a new place. So, I did it; I left prison for Cincinnati. When I arrived the following day, there was a staff meeting where everyone talked about how they’ve had all these problems: being unable to do groups because people were on leave; plus, it had been cold, so they couldn’t do much in the community. I was nervous; I questioned if I did the right thing. Things ended up settling out. People who were on leave came back, and activities started to happen. It showed me I had to have faith and believe things would work out. It showed me what was possible if I just faced my fears head-on. I believe it now because I experienced it firsthand. It’s not scary; good things come from facing fears.